The Power of Remembering Our Suffering: Why Reopening Wounds Is Worth the Pain (Working on My Upcoming Book)
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2 Corinthians 1:3-4
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
I am writing my first book
I sit in my living room at 4 in the morning clad in high socks, a long sleeve shirt, and inspiration. I sip my tea in procrastination as my iPad stares judgingly, awaiting my next sentence. I just want this book to be out now. I want it to find its way into peoples hands who need it most. But the current chapters have been especially challenging. This part of the process has forced me to deal with the emotions I’ve been stuffing down for years now.
This morning, as I sat half awake before leaving for work, my book writing station felt more like a therapy session. My writing process felt much heavier than usual because I was recalling some of the darkest moments of my life. I was taking the images that are permanently fixed in my mind, and putting them into words for all to see.
I am recounting some of the trials and suffering my family have gone through in the recent years, in as much detail as I can. Sure I could gloss over these details, but that would defeat the purpose of the book. This book is about how we as Christians can navigate trials and suffering in our lives. In order to do this, I’m going back in time and trying to document the trauma we have experienced as a family. As much as I’d like to never feel these emotions again, I understand at the same time these trials and the pain we felt are too important to forget.
I want people to feel what I felt in hopes that they will find comfort, knowing they aren’t alone. I want to remember the pain I felt and remember how amazing it is that God never abandoned us in those dark times. But that takes revisiting the unpleasant memories. In order to connect with others and help them in their trials, I have to paint the picture and show how I felt. I have to relive those moments, and it hurts.
Where was God in my suffering?
Writing a book about my trials is like reopening a wound that you’ve spent years neglecting. It hurts to purposely feel these emotions again. However, God comforted me, and continues to.
God got me through these trials, and He will certainly help my brothers and sisters in Christ as well. Although this book is taking everything I’ve got, and although I’m grinding so hard to find the time to put words to the page (or the iPad), I know it will be worth it in the end. I believe God has called me to write this book, and I believe He will help me finish it. All of our suffering means something, and perhaps my suffering can be used to bring God glory, and help others.
Is it worth remembering the pain?
Sometimes I wonder if this book is worth writing. Aren’t there other books like this? Yes, but this is MY story. I truly believe God uses us sometimes to tell our stories and in return, help others. Take a testimony for example: One person may tell you how they came to be born again, and it could inspire you or even just remind you of the moment you got saved.
Sure, we are all saved the same way, but that doesn’t mean our stories are the same. Each of us has a story to tell, and that story could be just what that lost person, or fellow believer needs to hear.
So yes, all the time I have invested into this book and all the depressing memories this has caused me to dwell on, will be worth it in the end. Even if one person is blessed by the book, it will have been worth it.
Although my story is unique, suffering is not unique. This world is full of people who have suffered worse than I could ever imagine. Perhaps that’s you, friend. It’s important we all tell our stories, even if that means reliving some of the most painful moments in our lives. In doing this, we have a unique opportunity to show people how God helped us and how we are never alone in our trials.
So what is your story friend? Have you gone through trials? If so, don’t be afraid to talk about it. Not only can talking about it bring you healing, but it can help someone else living in the horrific moments you made it through.
